Delusion of Meaning

quote-a-human-being-is-part-of-the-whole-called-by-us-universe-a-part-limited-in-time-and-space-he-albert-einstein-294082How much meaning, like, what is the least amount the mind needs, in order to convince itself it is alive? What types of justification will one permit in order to make its illusion believable and bearable?

No matter how hard I try, I will never get past the issue that we are taught, by others whom have been taught themselves by others, how to view the world around us, how to view where we live, how to break the world down into its pieces, how to see that humans are at the top of some figurative pyramid. Within this teaching, many others systems attach themselves to those teachings, where everything becomes this giant tumor in the brain that impedes on how those understand the world. Everything must filter through the tumor. If one tries to eliminate the illusion he has of politics, of the lies of government controlling his actions, yet he still holds on to his enjoyment of watching television, of having his thoughts controlled by network programming, where he views an imaginary world filled with imaginary interactions, where he views a world he obviously prefers to his own he could interact with himself, how is he making any strides in de-attaching his self from control? If man has been taught from the time he is young to be a consumer, how can he possibly change his self to be a producer, to create, to imagine, to thrive, to understand, to breathe, to relax into the present? If man truly wants to understand illusion, to transcend it, will he ever succeed at that goal if he also simultaneously lives amongst illusion after illusion? If man never questions the truth, if he always takes the world for what it is, if he really believes in santa claus, the tooth fairy, uncle sam, that schools really educate and that cops are here to protect us, then what is it REALLY that lies at the center of his mind that keeps him breathing, that makes him function? Is it such a thing as family? Is his meaning tied to such an arbitrary emotional thing as attachment? Is his life constructed of open-ended non-defined arbitrary ideas such as love, god, relationships, being, hope, and morality?

the questions are never-ending. they whirl through the mind non-stop, depriving one of healthy sleep, sending him into a life of insomnia madness, wondering how this life ever could’ve gotten this crazy where there no longer is life behind the eyes of the masses, where this world has become straight function over substance, where dictionaries are references not guides to live…where defining ones life has become a simulation of how others live their lives how others live their lives how they were taught to live their lives.

we used to play games when we were younger. all different kinds where we would make up our own rules as we went. you can do this. you can’t do that. some of us never added any new rules, while others always added many rules. this world today is made up of so many rules, it seems as though everyone playing it wants there to be no action whatsoever except massive complaining.

I just wonder what it is that people think they are doing when they are driving their cars, talking on their cell phones, eating their fast food, with their kids screaming in the back seat, going to the mall, to the grocery, to their jobs, to church, to the bars, and what it all means to them? what do they think someone would think of their lives if they were peering in upon them through the giant window in the sky? why did they decide to have kids? what was it about their life that they thought was so good, what was it that they thought they did so perfectly, that they thought it was time that they had a few children (a few tax slaves) to teach what a wonderful world this is? what was it about these kids that they so HAD to have that all of a sudden made it seem alright to let strangers teach them, have power over them for 8-12 hours a day, 280 days a year? what the fuck is wrong with you people? what is it about people that makes you all think it is ok to have your 80 year old parents or grandparents go live in an old folks home, knocked up on drugs all days long, living like zombies, alone, scared, wetting themselves, eating two-week old cookies you made them, washing it down with fluoridated water and pills and lithium? how does that add to the meaning of life? how is putting them in the home not better than just putting a double dose of morphine in their veins and sending them off to the big sleep? Money gets saved, and a whole industry of zombie medicating gets put out of business, as well as the emotional stress that is caused when visiting these people in their prisons…

is it religion that keeps you all breathing? the old saying that the “meek will prosper?” does that saying really keep you going to work, medicating your ulcers, saying grace before eating tv dinners while you watch reruns of friends, and tucking the youngsters into bed with a kiss on their cheeks? if death is such a taboo subject in this vacuous society, if guns kill people, not people killing people, if we should save the children, if soldiers are really heroes, yet what we want is really peace, but we have to kill for freedom, where anything without logic can be made into a slogan these masses will believe as long as its repeated enough on the television, in the newspapers and with enough emotion? what out there would you not wear a ribbon for? how many trillions of dollars will these people give before they realize there is not going to be a cure for cancer, those in power love to see you all disfigure your bodies, with your chopped off left tits, your bald chemo heads, your ribs showing from lack of an appetite, this whole world is diseased, and it isn’t always known how diseased the insides of you slaves are without causing your exteriors to melt away and bleed for these vampires. but wear your pink arm bands, your faggot fucking ribbons and keep thinking you are making a difference in this world. cuz that’s what its all about aint it: MAKING A FUCKING DIFFERENCE.

what will it take to make just one of you think? what will it take you to make you see that you’re not alive until you haven’t slept for a week and you are bleeding from your lips and your right eye is swollen shut, and your knuckles are bruised from beating your masters from dusk til dawn, but there is no way to win, nothing to gain by giving in, no moral victories by climbing into your suburbanite beds stroking your cock until you cum, and then waking in the morning to eat some cereal and do the grind thing all over again. family? country? laws? this isn’t a game of who gets to live the longest? just because you live to be 100 doesn’t make you cooler than someone who lived to be 5. both of you died. you cannot choose to be born. you can choose to die. and you can choose how you will die. there’s one more thing too. if you are strong enough, you can choose how you are going to live as well. but only once you choose to see through ALL of the ILLUSIONS. your self is an illusion. my self is an illusion. all i am is this skin, these muscles, these movements, these words, these eyes, these ears, these actions, these fears…shouldn’t I be the best amalgamation of those things? shouldn’t those things that are me, that are you, be the closest to the truth, the real truths that you or I have actually discovered, not false truth illusions that others have compiled for us that are based on mountains of microscopic half-truths piled upon half-truths and half-truths, and only truths that are true in their abyss for a world?

what is it that makes you you? what is it that you carry around with you and who made you carry it? it feels good to feel doesn’t it? but have you ever sat down and thought about how it is that you think? have you ever made it a goal to question 50 things a day? if you want to feel so badly, if you think feeling is so much more superior to the mind, why not try feeling for all the animals, all the fish, all the mammals, all the trees, that die everyday because of your scared feeling bitch asses? if you think being a human is so cool and it is so cool to have more humans that can destroy and not think and just consume and whine and make laws and complain and watch television all day, then why don’t you first hand go kill some animals your selves, let the blood quench your thirst, let your hate for all that is non-human be released upon this world, instead of letting others do it for you, while you build your emotional inconsistent world and pretend that murder isn’t murder and theft isn’t theft as long as you get your oil, plastics, makeups, and cheaply made throw away goods. i fucking hate you dandy emotional vapid yuppy mindless cabbage patch dolls.

people are not at the top of any pyramid, we just like looking at others that look like us, at others who have the same look of fear in their eyes as us, at others with that emptiness in their eyes, at others through the windows of their homes, sitting staring, lost in someone else’s world, far far far away from the questions, from the meaning that should be in their own minds….