Sensitivity Training

tumblr_lrfzyqyeJA1qaz9m3Growing up a real alive thinking person some years ago must have been quite the experience. To be able to discern, to be able to value, to be able to think, its a wonder anyone really knows what those actions of the mind are anymore. Before the time of look alike schools, where teachers actually taught, instead of “became” teachers in order to get lifetime pensions, unfireable jobs, and merely read the lessons they were told to “teach,” people responded to their individualistic impressions and realizations of their surrounding environments, used cause and effect actions to learn, and when they perceived dangers to themselves they used discrimination to either avoid the fear, or to confront it head on. Instead now, for at least the last 65 years, people have been told how to respond to the environment, have been told to perceive in this manner, have been told the dangers of looking at others from a non-equal perspective, have been told what is scary and what is not. As though any sort of difference must be not looked at all, but only peer at the similarities people. And yet, are all beings that walk on two feet, and utter a spoken language, are they all of the same species, really? What does the discerning mind tell you?

Where was the time of long ago when “to play,” meant to actually play, explore, climb trees, go for a hike, run run and run, or ride a bike as fast as you could down a hill the same day you taught yourself how to ride the bike (and then climbing back up the hill, with the bike riding you, as the blood ran down your legs, all WITHOUT a helmet), meeting new kids without your parents approval, telling dirty jokes, learning curse words, and staying up all night playing flashlight tag? Now to play means sending the kids to practice, to learn how to be the best in organized sports, sometimes one, two or three different sports, all in the same week. I sometime wonder if it isn’t more free babysitting for the parents? More regimented societal training so the kids learn how to share, that the physical is more beautiful than the mental, how to be “winners,” and to find something different if they are finding themselves constantly the “losers.” It is all a mass confusion, a distortion of time, of activity, of action, of value, a slow process of turning the world inside out, creating a new language, one mixed with feeling, routine behavior, niceness, pleasantries, chitchatting, hallmark cards with smiles on the front, piled on top of mistrust, hate, death, fear and a history redefined and perpetuated to keep people feeling this is as good as it will ever get, so why try to elevate their selves.

Time weighs heavily upon this world, crouching down ever lower, darkening the skies with its blinding speed, with its imprints tattooed in our fault lines. We have become so accustomed to history, the state’s version of the politically incorrect history, that we allow it to become a part of our own narratives, we allow it to misrepresent us in the now, and those to follow in the future. Blacks have so escaped into what they believe the past owes them, into what they FEEL the now owes them, that they have ceased to grow as an independent people, but have degraded, lazed into becoming a gaggle of entertainers, pad wearing, high jumping, weed smoking circus performers for all the world to ooo and aaaahhh at, and clap their hands. They have become this irony to themselves, a cartoon of their own devising, a caricature of the word nigger itself, and the irony is that they do not see it, cannot see it, for the mirrors they peer into are filled with lies, misreflections of a world that must pay for errors committed by a world that no longer exists. Peering into the river they see not the face starving for action, for thought, for reflection, for assertion on a deeper level, for a bomb to explode their destructive collectivity, and boost them into individualistic specialization, but rather they see the whole of the race, somber, with whip lashes grooved into their backs, with broken bones from all the name -calling, which to them, only worthless fiat dollar bills, ebt cards, and cash for clunkers, can bandage over. Cuz ain’t it all about them benjamins baby!

What is a nigger if it ain’t some piece of shit parasitic organism, sucking dry all the productive members of the world? If that is the definition, then sure there are white people that fall into this definition, it is possible to do that, but this word was defined for the blacks, and what have they done to distance themselves, AS A RACE. from this “horrible” name of names. Whine? Call for committees to protect them from hatred? Strum up with these committees to produce laws against peoples who discriminate? Pardon the expression, but nigger please? What has never made sense, and what will never make sense is that blacks go running with their little cowardice tails tucked between their legs to the very law, to the very government that held them in chains for 200 years, shackled to the soil, that helped to keep them down as lesser beings? They went running and begging please to the most hateful government that ever existed, begging them for a chance at equality, for a law that says they are indeed just as much of “citizens” as them white folk. “Give us some crumbs to eat, for us folk is hungry,” they pleaded, “and we will promise to celebrate with you the white man’s Fourth of July, even though we claim to despise what you did to us in our past, making us slaves and all, but we live our lives in contradictions, plus, us black negroes ain’t ever gonna hate on a partay, or a good excuse to barbecue, even if metaphorically we are celebrating the barbecuing of some of our past slave relatives.” What the fuck?

And these blacks get these blacks in the media, and they do not want to be portrayed as uncle toms, so they have to speak up for any racial slight, which all that does is keep the race dialogue going forward, keeps it in the mind’s of the unforgiving negro mind, the mind that still cannot forget slavery, even though there is no one alive who perpetrated it, well, except the fucking government. What has time done for these people? Now we are all slaves, we are all beaten and whipped and the only thing that seems to push us forward is tomorrow, tommorow, toooommmorrrow.

There is no black or white thing. Its always been this and this alone: Master-Servant. In the past the servants actually gave a shit, didn’t let their masters tell them how to talk, what to be, how to think, what to say, as the society back then was tougher, could take a beating and come back and give a bit of a beating itself. Or maybe that is my restructuring of the past, a narrative I would like to believe about the strength of alive thinking creatures who actually give a shit? I want to believe that there is a master-servant dichotomy in every REAL human being, and that the master wins a hundred percent of the time, but that 50 percent of the time it is the servant who achieves master status. I want to believe that there is a fight left in at least a few million people on this earth, and that no matter how much sensitivity training we all have to go through, we can all still understand discernment, discrimination, prejudice are good things that healthy thinking individuals do, which keep us alive, which keep us from making errors. I say nigger all the time, and maybe I have fallen into the trap of using a term that was brought about in the past to describe a second tier inferior race of men who were put here on the earth to serve the superior culture. Well, they sure as hell don’t serve the world anymore, they have become reproducing, destructive leeches that are sucking all that could be possibly good on this earth, and creating a world of similarity, in language and action, that has turned the things on this earth that were supposed to think, into sensitive yes men.

The society everyone worships so devoutly, does not move with a momentum of its own anymore, but is being directed. Wanna hear some discrimination. There is a lazy, mentally challenged nigger running this country, before him there was greedy mass murdering white piece of shit that somehow people liked enough to check on a box in a booth, before that there was a giggling excuse for a leader who used more slight of the hand tricks to brainwash a nation into believing he was a good leader, before that there was another mass murderer, before that a slow-witted actor who along with his dumb bitch of a wife further eroded any individual privacy and laws with their war on drugs….

it never ends. soon, you will not be able to call anyone any kind of name, touch them, or even look them in the eyes without some consequence from the “government.” I am a prejudice mother fucker. i hate ANY ONE ASSOCIATED WITH THE GOVERNMENT–lets call them this name; collectivites. I hate blacks mostly because they don’t know how to stand up for them selfs, they only know how to whine about their collective shame. I hate Americans of all races, because they are lazy, they lack moral spines, and they have to be the most justifying species in existence. And I hate time, because in this nexus of the universe we have been thrown into, time, when put into the wrong hands, can discombobulate the last few remaining human beings priorities…

i am alive. i am my own master. i ask no one else for my worth. no other being can tell me what i am.